In my life, I’ve been impatient with many things. Waiting for my teens to wake in the morning, the new album from my favorite band, politicians to “do the right thing”. Do any of these things ever come? Eventually, my teen wakes us and that album gets released. And “do the right thing” is a matter of perspective.
How often is “do the right thing” a matter of what we want (when we want it). Let’s face it, we’re all selfish in some capacity. It’s human nature and the most altruistic of us are still selfish in something. Denying it is denying our humanity…
I’m a bit of a control freak. It’s good in business. I want things done my way and that it’s my name on the door, I tend to get what I want. And as a doctor, I know what’s best for those whom I serve and when they follow, good things happen. But it isn’t good to always be right because it denies relationship. For example, sometimes patients literally can’t come in the recommended frequency. Releasing that control to them allows for growth and relationship.
Likewise, at home, it’s a bad show to be all controlling. I’ve learned over the years, to not always get my way. I’m not always good at it. And when I do it right and let go, nobody knows. But when I dig in on something and hold ground, I have to ask, why am I seeking control here? Is it for selfish reasons or do I know something the other’s in my family don’t? Am I protecting them from something? Or, am I just being a jerk (and don’t realize it)? All are true in a given circumstance.
When a husband and wife are at odds, the “winner” often loses because of control. Releasing control and helps find win-win. The one who releases, often is the one who is truly in control (of themselves)… like I said last week, introspection, experience, ah-ha, not always good at implementing. Sound familiar to you dear reader?
What are we to do? On the control side, we need to let go. So what if we don’t get our own way this time. There will be plenty of times when we do. On the controlled side, when we feel that, have patience. Have a Godly amount of patience. So much patience that we think we’ll explode if we don’t do something, then have more. Or, if it’s early in the relationship, move on. Regardless of the type of relationship, this advice applies. It doesn’t matter if it’s God/believer, husband/wife, boss/employer, coach/athlete, etc.
Communicate. It may not seem like your words are getting though, but they are. People are slow to learn and change. It’s been said that the only people who like being changed are babies with a dirty diaper. That control will be released when they are ready to change. Yup, it sucks. But keep communicating and they’ll get it, don’t give up.
Bring in a trusted outside source. Personally, for me, I’ve been to therapy, I’ve spoke with pastors and priests, friends and family. And, honestly, they aren’t always the best sources for getting to the roots of my issues. For me it was a program called Celebrate Recovery. Whatever it is for you, you’ll know it when you do it, talk with them, etc.
So, why do I have this post under the “Vision 2030” title and not the “Thoughts from the Heart” title? Well…
Is Chiropractic often right? Yes. Is it always right, 100% of the time? No. It’s about relationship.
Is medicine often right? Yes. Is it always right, 100% of the time? No. It’s about relationship.
Can my teen sleep ’till noon? Yes. Does he always? No. It’s about my patience.
Is that album going to come out? Yes. Will it be any good? hmmm, we’ll see. It’s about my patience
Is the politician right? Yes. No. Is the politician wrong? Yes. No. It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about perspective.
Leave a Reply